It's begun

The tightness of the chest, the shortening of the temper, the heart beating uncontrollably, the rushing out of rooms while pushing back the tears, the quick trips for the pint of Ben and Jerry's.... the panic attack is just around the corner.

It almost feels good just to feel something, just annoying that it's this. And now I have a trip to Cali to visit the Mimi looming over my head (the tickets were purchased this evening, there's no backing out now) it's just adding to the madness. Of course I'm blowing things out of proportion! I always do. If I did have something big going on, it would take up more room and things would remain their proper sizes, but I don't, so they inflate. The peace corps is pretty big...it's funny I try not to let it be.